I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
