Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
