The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
