She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
