Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
