I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
