Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
