dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
babies were throwing up all over the place
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
