I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
