some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
