Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
