The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
