If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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