i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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