I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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