please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
