I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
