You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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