you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
He kissed a someone with a penis
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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