She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize