Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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