I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
