Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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