She said her name was "party"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize