you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
