God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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