going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
they're like a gay fantastic four
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
