she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
