She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
