Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize