There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
