He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
My feet surprised me
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
