I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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