If that was your dad, he is hot
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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