he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just forgot I was standing up.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
