Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
