He felt like a one man threesome
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
