What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
