I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
You ate ashes out of my bong
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
