how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
