Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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