I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
