also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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