This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
