No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
