Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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