The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
The convent might be a nice break from real life
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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