i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
