College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Randomize
