Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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