Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just pee around me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize