you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
