i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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