Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
