escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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