Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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