i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
being pregnant is like rehab
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Randomize
