If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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