Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
