Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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